So lately I've been a little overwhelmed by the world. Maybe I subscribe to too many on-line news sources. Maybe I've been an activist so long I'm getting battle weary. Maybe the implications of gay marriage in California is the straw that broke this camel's back. Whatever the case I stomped out to the horse paddock last night, frustrated at something Nameless, and began to pull clumps of tansy out by their roots and fling them into the driveway. Thankfully the Lord didn't leave me alone to fume. He walked (not stomped) beside me and asked me what was wrong. “I don't know!” I said. Bringing the brilliance of His masculinity to bear He said nothing. “I'm just..... afraid I've been wrong all along. What if the dispensationalists are right and the end of times is going to happen as they say? What if this life really is one long slide towards apostasy, ultimate evil and death? That means the power You left us isn't enough to turn back the darkness. It means that we may fight the battles but won't win the war. It means we really should just let things be so we descend more rapidly and You'll come back sooner. It means there is no reason to build and strengthen the Bride, make her clean and beautiful for her Bridegroom— it's not possible. I might be able to fight one battle knowing I'm going to lose, like Aragorn and the armies of the free peoples of Middle-earth before the Black Gates. But sustained defeat with the only hope being that You come in after the earth has been destroyed and make it new again? No! You've saved us into victory here and now as well as in eternity.”
Female spaghetti all over the place. Fortunately the female is one half of the image of God so He not only understands it, He loves it. (As my mother said the other day when I admitted that I wouldn't want God's job for anything, “God loves being God!” What a concept!)
“Why are you pulling the tansy?” He asked me.
I'm getting quicker at guessing His meaning these days so I had to ruefully answer right away, “Because it's fun. And because I'm trying to lessen the odds that the horses will eat it and die.”
“Will you get all of it?”
“No.”
“Then what does it matter if you or the dispensationalists are right? Evil must be fought because it is evil. Good must be done in the face of darkness because the darkness must be brightened. Aragorn and company didn't have any idea that they would win. Some of them died thinking they'd lost. But look what happened because they kept to their swords! Remember Wilberforce. He didn't know the end of the story. He didn't know if he would ever get that bill through parliament. All he knew was that I had called him to fight this evil with all he had. So he did, and look what I did with it. Besides, it's fun to root evil out. I do it every day; you can't tell me that you don't see it. And regarding California, well, there was once a time when slavery was new too. You are fighting preventively right now, but even if you fail, it will not stop Me from raising up a Gideon, a Wilberforce to overthrow that which has become ingrained into the public conscience. I am big enough to turn the opinions of countries around! So fight till your hand cleaves to your sword!”
“So this is once again a Simon Peter thing, huh?” I said. “ 'Lord, what about this man?' ”
“Exactly,” He replied. “ 'If I want him to remain until I come, what is that to you? You follow me!' ”
Somehow now I can keep going.
6 comments:
"Evil must be fought because it is evil."
Well spoken Jessie.
In reply I would add that "God must be worshiped because he is good." I think that statement more closely defines the role I am called to in this time and place. I am surrounded by so much evil I can hardly begin to recount let alone directly oppose it, but if people turn and begin to worship the Sovereign God, will not that darkness be forced to retreat?
By the way, I've never heard of "tansy" before, but I wish you all the best in your uprootings.
Tansy, oddly enough, is wonderful for humans (particularly women) but death to cattle and horses. Very strange. Thank you for the blessing. I'll take it.
Jessie, I sit here with tears in my eyes. Thank you for passing on the clarity, the encouragement, the admonition. And I pray the Lord's blessing on your words.
Hey there:) Good struggles and thoughts. I believe many are weary these days, and a friend from camp pulled out the verse about gathering together more as the "Day" approaches because we will need more encouragement as the battle seems dark at times. To keep fighting. For me right now I am fighting to keep believing. But this morning was reminded how vital it is that I do. Thanks for your words. Miss you, hope we can talk soon and build each other up.
I had forgotten that," said Eomer. "...The world is all grown strange. ... How shall a man judge what to do in such times?"
"As he has ever judged," said Aragorn. "Good and ill have not changed since yesteryear; nor are they one thing among Elves and Dwarves and another among Men. It is a man's part to discern them, as much in the Golden Wood as in his own house."
Mm. Unexpected tears jumped into my eyes there-- I forget how many true things this man has said, and in what beautiful ways. Thanks for reminding me.
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