Goose on the Loose

*Conversation overheard on a pond between I-5 and the Exit 77 on-ramp.

(Excited flapping of wings and schloppy slapping of webbed feet.) "Hey guys, guys! You'll never guess what just happened! I was crossing the overpass up there and I was texting Mallard to tell him to wait to start diving till I got here and all of a sudden this CAR jumps right out in front of me-- and I couldn't stop, I tried, I really did, but I just ran right into it-- and it was terrible, people were screaming-- in fact they were already screaming before I ran into them-- anyway, it must have been okay because it started off again, weaving a little, but I think it will be all right-- Good grief, I haven't had that much adrenaline since hunting season!"

*Conversation overheard on an overpass at Exit 77 on I-5.

Everyone but Mom: "Red light!!"
Mom: "Oh! Oh! Ah!" (speeding up then slowing down)
Everyone but Mom: "This next one is green, you can keep going!"
Boomer: "Goose!"
Most Everyone: (thinking he was being a little fresh) "Huh?
EVERYONE: "GOOSE!!!"
near halt on the overpass
Mom: "A--a goose, just walked into out tire!"
Everyone but Mom: "Ha! Goose! What? Good grief! What?!"
hysterical laughter as goose walks off unharmed
continued driving
Everyone: (with growing incredulity) "A goose! We were just hit by a goose! IT hit US! I bet it was texting and not paying attention...."

True story, folks. At least the second bit. ;-)