Just this last week, and to my great surprise, I discovered that I'm married.
That's my favorite hook in a while!
It started last week with a book. But that's another blog. I gathered more clues over the weekend when some loose ends were tied up in a friendship. But I really started to notice during a groggy hypnopompic reverie on Monday night: “Hmm, Jesus survived 33 years of Jewish culture without getting married. Curious. Maybe He figured that His would be no life for a woman, that He might leave her a widow very shortly, and good grief! what kind of children would be half God, half man anyway?”
Into my three-quarters-conscious state God thought, “No, actually. He was already engaged.”
I was so stunned my eyes shot open in the dark.
Of course! The Divine Matchmaker, had already promised Him a Bride! In fact, at 30 years-old, all that remained for Him to do before claiming her and celebrating a huge marriage feast was to pay her bride price, give her the token of His intent, and prepare a place for her to live. For three years Jesus systematically checked things off the list, but He added a criteria of His own: wooing. Stereotypically, He did what most young men do when they are besotted with a beautiful girl: displayed His power, strength, and unimpeachable moral character; made her life easier in every way, from physically healing her to teaching her how to function in the real world; and He did a couple of “stupid,” daring things to get her attention. Like dying. Well okay, that was actually the bride price bit. The girl's father was cruel, wily and devious, and he didn't approve of the young buck. So for spite he set Jesus a Herculean task before He could claim her: die. But Jesus did the math and realized that if He stayed dead He wouldn't get the girl. So He and His father got together and worked out the resurrection plan. His token of intent arrived forty days after He had to leave to start building the house. The poor girl had been born with a dead spirit— living body, brain, intellect and soul, but dead spirit— so He sent her His. They share it, like a party line, and it's her greatest protection as she continues to live in her abusive father's home. It enables her to do everything Jesus does as long she doesn't tune Him out.
Realizing that I am the girl is what woke me up Monday night.
A couple of days later while volunteering at the Crisis Pregnancy Center I got to watch a few of their Abstinence DVDs, called Life, Love and Legacy (which everyone needs to see, by the way— no exceptions). As Carrie Abbot talked about Edenic Adam and Eve and what whole and righteous sexuality (masculinity and femininity) must have looked like, I began to understand a little more about what “the girl” can expect from “her man Jesus.” Adam was the perfect man. Physically, mentally, emotionally, spiritually, he had it all. He was powerful but self-controlled, open, with no duplicity, totally wowed by Eve, persevering, pursuing, adventurous, just, dedicated to being all a male could be in a perfect world. The epitome of unadulterated masculinity. Salivary glands start going, don't they ladies? Well, that's who is building us a house, who's left us His token, who's paid our exorbitant bride price, who's wooed us, who can't wait to take us to dinner.
In talking about this idea with various girlfriends, I found that a.) this is a new thought to most women; b.) in resonates with us hugely; c.) most of us, married or single, don't treat Jesus like He's our husband; and d.) there is a ton of reality that this idea alters. Regardless of what this country says about the marriage relationship, there is a profound difference between a girlfriend or a mistress and a wife. A girlfriend or a mistress has no legal leg to stand on. But when she marries him she wields his full authority. She can spend his money, pick up his children, drive his cars, make medical decisions, use his body. If we are married to Jesus, we have more than the privilege of His provision and protection, we have the right. Asking for daily bread should not be an exercise in begging but of asking where the checkbook is so we can go shopping. In our minds, we often picture our relationship with the Lord as a Master/Slave relationship, or Father/Child or Older Sibling/Younger Sibling. Those are all correct, theologically speaking, but when we leave out the Husband/Wife piece we get a very incomplete picture. We default into our inferiority complexes and wind up manipulating, pouting and doubting. Sometimes we even pack up and leave Him. We forget that He's the richest, most powerful Man in both kingdoms, that He's bigger, tougher and more resourceful than our abusive father, and has legally bound Himself to cover all our needs. This also explains why earthly marriage is called a sacrament: it's a sign, a symbol of something else. Which is also why, coincidentally, there is no marriage in heaven— the metaphor won't be necessary anymore. We'll have the real thing: the Bride of Christ consummated after the Wedding Supper of the Lamb.
So, as an exercise in practical theology I've begun to try think like I'm married. And it's changing lots of little things. For example I don't want to have to sit down to dinner across from my husband at the end of the day and have to confess to Him that I said some awful things about Him that day, that I misspent His money, and that I failed to love His kids. That makes for a long, silent meal. Instead I want to get together with Him over breakfast and ask Him what He's doing that day, whether He's going shopping or if I am, whether He's picking up the kids or I am, what's on His mind? It's a totally different experience for a single girl, I can tell you! But I like it.
I like it a lot.
That's my favorite hook in a while!
It started last week with a book. But that's another blog. I gathered more clues over the weekend when some loose ends were tied up in a friendship. But I really started to notice during a groggy hypnopompic reverie on Monday night: “Hmm, Jesus survived 33 years of Jewish culture without getting married. Curious. Maybe He figured that His would be no life for a woman, that He might leave her a widow very shortly, and good grief! what kind of children would be half God, half man anyway?”
Into my three-quarters-conscious state God thought, “No, actually. He was already engaged.”
I was so stunned my eyes shot open in the dark.
Of course! The Divine Matchmaker, had already promised Him a Bride! In fact, at 30 years-old, all that remained for Him to do before claiming her and celebrating a huge marriage feast was to pay her bride price, give her the token of His intent, and prepare a place for her to live. For three years Jesus systematically checked things off the list, but He added a criteria of His own: wooing. Stereotypically, He did what most young men do when they are besotted with a beautiful girl: displayed His power, strength, and unimpeachable moral character; made her life easier in every way, from physically healing her to teaching her how to function in the real world; and He did a couple of “stupid,” daring things to get her attention. Like dying. Well okay, that was actually the bride price bit. The girl's father was cruel, wily and devious, and he didn't approve of the young buck. So for spite he set Jesus a Herculean task before He could claim her: die. But Jesus did the math and realized that if He stayed dead He wouldn't get the girl. So He and His father got together and worked out the resurrection plan. His token of intent arrived forty days after He had to leave to start building the house. The poor girl had been born with a dead spirit— living body, brain, intellect and soul, but dead spirit— so He sent her His. They share it, like a party line, and it's her greatest protection as she continues to live in her abusive father's home. It enables her to do everything Jesus does as long she doesn't tune Him out.
Realizing that I am the girl is what woke me up Monday night.
A couple of days later while volunteering at the Crisis Pregnancy Center I got to watch a few of their Abstinence DVDs, called Life, Love and Legacy (which everyone needs to see, by the way— no exceptions). As Carrie Abbot talked about Edenic Adam and Eve and what whole and righteous sexuality (masculinity and femininity) must have looked like, I began to understand a little more about what “the girl” can expect from “her man Jesus.” Adam was the perfect man. Physically, mentally, emotionally, spiritually, he had it all. He was powerful but self-controlled, open, with no duplicity, totally wowed by Eve, persevering, pursuing, adventurous, just, dedicated to being all a male could be in a perfect world. The epitome of unadulterated masculinity. Salivary glands start going, don't they ladies? Well, that's who is building us a house, who's left us His token, who's paid our exorbitant bride price, who's wooed us, who can't wait to take us to dinner.
In talking about this idea with various girlfriends, I found that a.) this is a new thought to most women; b.) in resonates with us hugely; c.) most of us, married or single, don't treat Jesus like He's our husband; and d.) there is a ton of reality that this idea alters. Regardless of what this country says about the marriage relationship, there is a profound difference between a girlfriend or a mistress and a wife. A girlfriend or a mistress has no legal leg to stand on. But when she marries him she wields his full authority. She can spend his money, pick up his children, drive his cars, make medical decisions, use his body. If we are married to Jesus, we have more than the privilege of His provision and protection, we have the right. Asking for daily bread should not be an exercise in begging but of asking where the checkbook is so we can go shopping. In our minds, we often picture our relationship with the Lord as a Master/Slave relationship, or Father/Child or Older Sibling/Younger Sibling. Those are all correct, theologically speaking, but when we leave out the Husband/Wife piece we get a very incomplete picture. We default into our inferiority complexes and wind up manipulating, pouting and doubting. Sometimes we even pack up and leave Him. We forget that He's the richest, most powerful Man in both kingdoms, that He's bigger, tougher and more resourceful than our abusive father, and has legally bound Himself to cover all our needs. This also explains why earthly marriage is called a sacrament: it's a sign, a symbol of something else. Which is also why, coincidentally, there is no marriage in heaven— the metaphor won't be necessary anymore. We'll have the real thing: the Bride of Christ consummated after the Wedding Supper of the Lamb.
So, as an exercise in practical theology I've begun to try think like I'm married. And it's changing lots of little things. For example I don't want to have to sit down to dinner across from my husband at the end of the day and have to confess to Him that I said some awful things about Him that day, that I misspent His money, and that I failed to love His kids. That makes for a long, silent meal. Instead I want to get together with Him over breakfast and ask Him what He's doing that day, whether He's going shopping or if I am, whether He's picking up the kids or I am, what's on His mind? It's a totally different experience for a single girl, I can tell you! But I like it.
I like it a lot.
5 comments:
great stuff jess. Thanks for sharing. I like this idea also.
Ok, you get a point for "eye-catching opening sentence" in this blog post. :-) Nice work. Good luck topping that one though. ;-)
Good job, Honey. As usual, you've done excellently in putting it all together. Thanks.
Several years ago you told me to start looking at Christ as my groom- my husband. But the part I so often forget is that with this being true, my actions are so often ones of cheating on my husband, being unfaithful. Adultery. It sheds a whole new light on it to think of myself as a cheating wive!
Good stuff! I like it a lot. It really opened my eyes! Good job :-D
Post a Comment